VIOLETDOLOR

It’s comforting to know that we’ve reached a new phase in our relationship after 2 and a half years. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s been that long. When we met, he was the company’s network administrator (and the all-around IT guy) and I was a copywriter. I made landi so I could have him install computer games on my PC. I won him over but never got my games.

Last night, I was fuming mad. Ranting and raving. Then my phone beeped…text message. He was coming over to see me. And then we talked for hours. It’s odd how he’s having the same problems as I am. We’re both at the managerial level now. We make big decisions and sometimes there are uncertainties with those decisions we make.

I love that I could share that with him.

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Being a manager is not easy. It’s Friday night and I’m still thinking about work. I’ve made several big decision in the past month and I know upper management isn’t exactly going to be happy with all of them (specially the ones that entail additional cost). I’ve been doing a lot of little things for people I manage directly. I don’t think anyone appreciates it though.

You know that cliche..stuck between a rock and a hard place. That’s how it feels . My head is going to explode soon. Now I get what my manager meant two years ago. Not everything has to be cleared with the people. If it’s something to their advantage (say a bonus), they feel like the company owes it to them. If it’s something for the company’s sake, they’ll react like you’re being unfair.

I just hope I don’t get my ass sacked for sticking up for people, demanding more for them and making sure the team is happy. The sad part is, I’ve lost so many people in the last three months that I feel like a complete failure. One person due to health reasons, another due to pregnancy, another to motherhood. The fourth is for a personal reason. Is there something they’re not telling me? Is it just a streak of really bad luck?

I need this moment for myself. I need to bitch. Maybe drink a bit a lot. I don’t know. I’m sad, disappointed and just plain tired. I want to give up but the nagger in me keeps telling me to stick it out. What’s the worst they can do? Demote me probably. Ugh.  Good luck.

I was perfectly happy where I was 4 months ago. I love my team and they love me back. I love my manager. I love the work. I used to go to work everyday because I was actually happy with everything. Even with my very first team in the company (where I am still recognized and treated like an adopted member), everything was rainbows and daisies. Those guys rock!

Now with the new group, I’m the outsider again. I’m going out on a limb here, I’ll try to socialize and actually be a better manager starting Monday. I’m sacrificing the relationship I have with my original team to try and get along with the other set better. I’m going to shuttle between two buildings just to make this work. God help me. I’m a social retard.

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Mark your calendars, the 7th Philippine ToyCon is happening this weekend. Weeeee! I really really hope we get our salary before then, I am flatout broke. And I won’t be able to help myself when I get to MegaMall this weekend.

I’m a freak for toys. My family has such a badass collection of the older generation toys like you wouldn’t believe. From original Ghostbuster action figures to the super-flexible Barbies of old. I think we still have all the old-fashioned computer games at home from Atari to Family Computer to NES to SNES. Even got my old Gameboy at home.

Damn, I’m excited! Good timing too. Father’s Day is just around the corner and I’m still looking for a Silver Surfer action figure for my dad. His collection of SpiderMan toys is already filling up the TV room. I think he needs something new. I know he loves that silver dude and I’ve been trying to look for one since last Christmas.

What excites me even more is CosPlay day. Too bad I’m too busy working to actually sew up a wicked costume. Life gets more complicated when you grow older…and actually start stepping up the corporate ladder.

More info at the official site: http://www.toyconph.com/

7th Philippine Toys, Hobbies and Collectibles Convention
Organized by Collectibles Unlimited Assoc.
JUNE 14-15, 2008
MEGATRADE HALL 2-3, SM MEGAMALL

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I just spent a day and a half watching the entire first season of Gossip Girl. That show rocks! Yes, it’s a bit too “teen-agey” for me, but I love bitch-fests. What bothers me though are the bad-girls-gone-good episodes. It’s a little bit too familiar for my taste.

It’s true that I’m no Serena. But there are some similarities. I come from a pretty decent family…and I’ve done a lot of upper class parties (as upper class as they get in the third world hon). But it doesn’t end there. Some people who know me now would never believe all the shit I did in high school. Only my girls know that.

I wasn’t a good girl. Period.

I started drinking like a bitch at a young age.  I cut classes. I cheated on tests. I partied until the sun was out. I was mean to ugly people.

What I thought was just senseless teenage rebellion actually spilled over to the better part of my twenties. I watched porn in the office. I did everything that would piss off a lot of people (but I was really aiming at management)…and I did them on purpose. I vandalized property. I had seven earrings and a tongue piercing.

Then around two years ago, things changed. I started dating a decent guy, who eventually became my boyfriend. I stopped drinking so much. I barely go out on weekends, except for work or for events.  Can bad girls really turn good? I’m still trying. It’s a choice I make on a daily basis. It is still fun to torture people once in a while.

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Another SEO Challenge for the year. The Busby SEO Challenge is hosted by Busby Web Solutions. Rules and prizes are as follows:

Entrants will be given 3 months to use their best endeavours to optimise a key phrase so that it appears as high as possible on www.google.com, when that particular key phrase is searched for. The winner will be the person whose site is ranked the highest, when that particular key phrase is searched for, on 31st August 2008, 12:00 midday, Perth, Western Australia. The runner up 2nd and 3rd place prizes will be awarded to those two entrants whose site is ranked the second and third highest.

Prizes :$5,000 to the top winner. $2000 to the second placer and $500 to the third.

I’m not sure if I want to spend time on this contest. I’m pretty busy with work and some freelance gigs. Although, if I win I could pay off the remaining 18 months of my car payment and have enough left to go shopping. Rules are a bit iffy though. You can’t use the words “SEO” “Challenge” and “Busby” in the url. If it’s a content contest, I actually have a fighting chance at this.

One thing to consider, Benj Arriola is joining. He’s sure to win one of the three prizes. He’s a master of SEO contests. We’ll see how the schedule goes.

The contest keyword is out: BUSBY SEO CHALLENGE 

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This is the first time in a month and a half that I have absolutely nothing in my calendar for the weekend. No baptisms, no weddings, no fitting for the bridesmaid dress, no birthday parties to attend, no date. My boyfriend’s going to Tarlac to celebrate his dad’s birthday. I’ve cleaned out my plate of weekend work. I have absolutely nothing to do. And it’s a friggin’ three-day weekend.

Things that I should try to finish:

• Actually learn to drive my own damn car. This has been on my list of things to do for three looooong years. Need to get to it already.
• Work on some articles for Philippine News. I do miss writing for print media.
• Look for my second property. I think it’s time.
• Watch Gossip Girl until my eyes pop out. ‘Nuff said.
• Bond with my girls. Sex and the City. It’s so us.

I think I’ll spend the weekend enjoying guilty pleasures. Gossip Girl and Sex & the City it is. I’ll top it with a pack of bacon. Haven’t had real food in a while. That should make me happy and ready for another grueling week of work when I get back.

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I woke up the other day with a bad back. If that’s a sign that I’m getting old…shit, it means I’ll kill myself soon. Vanity aside, I was gearing up for the long weekend and I couldn’t go about my usual activities feeling like that. So, I decided to get a massage from Lotus Massage Place over at Somerset Condo (Aguirre St., Makati).

Damn! That was one helluva massage. Everyone knows I’m a bit of a spa-whore. I’ve been to the big ones and the small places. I think I spent about P10K last year just getting myself pampered. I’m pretty familiar with Lotus since they had a branch down by Dela Costa St. where I used to live. Never tried it though.

I got a brochure from the Aguirre branch when we did our planning session last December in Somerset (I kept it neatly folded in my trusty BDJ planner). I thought it was abnormally cheap at P395 for an hour’s worth of pampering. I got a lot more than I expected when I actually came in for a massage last month. I was totally stressed out from working on the Operations Manuals. I got to the place. They prepared a foot bath for me (which is like part of the service). Then came the massage. I’m not really into Shiatsu and I usually go for Swedish. They had a combination therapy (aptly called Oriental Massage) that truly rocked my socks! Lisa, my masseuse, was able to get my back crackin’ within the first few strokes that I thought she was some sort of massage goddess.

I came back today hoping they’d be able to fix the back problem. I wanted to try Swedish and I had a different masseuse this time (Lorrie) and hell, she was just as good. Fell asleep within the first 20 minutes. Best part is, though it’s really cheap compared to other massage places, the service is fantastic. Hot towel and cold water are served after the massage.

They don’t have bath facilities (or maybe they do, but you pay extra..I forgot), but they also don’t pretend to be some classy spa that will overcharge you. It is what it is. A great massage place. This is where I’m getting my monthly dose from now on…unless I run out of money, then I’ll go back to Big Apple Day Spa in Cubao.

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Despite what people may think, it’s not easy being me.

It’s 9pm. I was sick yesterday. I’m still sick today. I’m still in the office working my ass off on a million things. I hate meetings that take up too much time. I hate that I could never get the work I need to do done.

I have personal problems.

You don’t know me.

Enough ranting for today. I’m just really frustrated.  I hope I’m in a better mood tomorrow.

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It’s been a pretty hectic month for me.

May 9: Finished the SLAM Session (training) for the DWH writers.

May 10: My cousin got married. Had to whip out the formal wear.

May 18: Lemon’s baptism. Then, we went out on a date at Hooters

May 24: Went to Quezon Province to attend a friend’s wedding. Then, spent a day at the beach.

For some weird reason, I always end up drinking the night before a wedding. I got home around 2am before my cousin’s wedding which was at 9am the next day. For Jex’s wedding, I was out drinking until 12am and I got up at 6am the next morning. Well, to keep the tradition alive, when my day comes I’ll make sure I get all my friends drunk the night before. hehe.

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WordCamp,  is a conference for WordPress users and developers. The last one held in San Francisco ran for two days with the
first day focusing on how to be a better blogger, the second on the development and future of WordPress. Plans for a Philippine WordCamp is in the works, spearheaded by a group of local bloggers.

“One of the objectives of WordCamp Philippines is to encourage more developers to use and deploy WordPress, not only as a blogging engine but also as a full-featured content management system for Web sites. Another is to increase the number of WordPress users and developers in the country. By developers, we mean programmers of WordPress plugins and designers of themes & templates,” states the website.

The event is slated for the Sept. 6, 2008.

I’m pretty excited about this event. Rumor has it Matt Mullenweg will be a speaker at the event. Not much info on it on the official website though. Keep checking back for more at: http://philippines.wordcamp.org/

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